A little over a month ago, I got a letter from a friend who reads this blog. It was quite the letter! I have pondered it, meditated on it, and re-played it in my mind like a movie. It was convicting and challenging. It was something that within 24 hours of receiving the letter that I could pass on the advice to someone else. I needed to be reminded. You see, it is advice that my husband and I give often. The challenge is doing it!
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The theme song of our April women's retreat had been on the same subject that our friend's letter was on. This friend lives in another state. I don't see her often, but the Spirit connects us on a regular basis. I asked her if I could share her letter, in part, for you here. She said to share it all... I think I'll share part.
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Dear Steve and Patti,
So, I think I told you that my daughter has started going back to church and it’s because of my granddaughter that she’s going. It’s taken 10 yrs... ... I could not emotionally deal with (her) living with her alcoholic dad and step-mom, so I gave her back to God and laid her on the cross for God to take care of her for me. It was hard, but from that moment on there was peace. I knew that she was in God’s hands and He was looking out for her, in college for example she had a Christian room-mate. Her best-friend in high-school – a Christian. So I knew God was taking care of her. Sure, I was hurt and devastated but I would not pick her up again and worry about her. Fast forward 10 yrs or so and now her young daughter of four years is going to church with her “Pop” and (my daughter) is feeling guilty for not going and thus she begins going again to church. (She) loves it and each time she goes she calls me with something about the service that she tells me about, or she has questions that she asks me about – it’s so cool to hear in her voice the excitement that she’s actually learning.
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So, my health has been terrible... .... and things with (my hubby and I) had gotten pretty bad. He had lost yet another job from his constant absenteeism (his back) and I just couldn’t take being the “bread winner” of the house while He sat and watched TV and popped pain pills. I knew that the two weeks I would be home (after my surgery with him) would either make us or break us so one night on the way home from church I was listening to my gospel music and I just lost it, I just boo hoo-ed and poured my heart out to God and did what I should have done years ago. I laid that burden down, and I laid (my hubby) down at the cross and gave him over to Jesus to take care of. I was at my breaking point and could no longer take care of (my hubby) because my health was now effected by carrying him for so many years. Yes, Steve, I had reached the stairs and there was no way I was strong enough to climb them carrying (him)- let alone by myself. So I laid him down at that cross and gave him to Jesus and walked away. That was 2 weeks before my surgery.
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It is now July 14th and (my hubby) has made a huge turn around. (However the worse thing - he did not even show up for my surgery. He had a shot scheduled for his back and he expected me to change my surgery – so he went for his shot and had it without any (anesthesia) so that he could drive home. I was SO upset with him I was steaming all day; however, mom and dad came to the hospital and stayed the whole day...
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….. the next week is when the change happened. He was diagnosed with pre-diabetes, the same day he went to his diabetes class was the same night that mom was rushed to the hospital with heart issues and of course I couldn’t drive yet so I was stuck at home calling everyone... ...Here we are now 3 months later and (my hubby) has lost 40 lbs, he has a brand new job and LOVES IT and his whole attitude has changed. He had become so grumpy and depressed that nobody wanted to be around him, he was up to 325.lbs and was a walking time bomb with his high blood pressure and temper and threatening to commit suicide on a pretty regular basis. I was sure that I would come home and find him dead one day….it was awful.
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So I know this is all garbled and jumbled but I am so excited!!! It has taken me 14 years but I finally turned my husband over to God and let Him take care of him and within months look what all has happened. WoW!! Even better? I am at peace for the first time in many years. I feel like I have the man that I married back. He is happy, he is laughing and just a joy to be around. Yesterday, was our Anniversary and we both felt like it was a celebration, like a new start for us.
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My burden has lifted Steve, and it’s taken me HOW MANY YEARS to figure this out?? You tried to teach me but I guess I had to learn it myself the hard way – or at least give him back to God and LEAVE him there. Believe you me, I’m not picking that load back up – he’s too heavy to carry!!!
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So with this novel, just wanted to give you some good news for a change. My hubby is back and we’re both thrilled. Now if I can just get him back to church…but that’s not my job, when he decides to join me he will.... God is Good!!! Love ya both,
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The theme song from our women's retreat is one we sing now quite often on Sunday mornings. I wish I could find it on a playlist, but for now, here are the words to this beautiful song - GIGATTAATTGIG:
HERE IN THIS PLACE
Chris Davis
Lay your burden down
Every care you carry,
And come to the table of grace,
For there is mercy.
Come just as you are,
We are all unworthy
To enter the presence of God
For He is holy.
Chorus
Lift up your heart, lift up your hands,
Fall on your knees and pray;
For the King of kings
Is here in this place.
We raise our voices,
We offer Him our praise;
For the King of kings
Is here,
1999 One Man Band
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